An Idiot’s Guide to Camping During the Zombie Apocalypse

Good job! You’ve managed to grasp the concept that it might be better to move away from the populated zones when the zombie apocalypse hits. Did you come up with that all by yourself? Well, anyway, camping is indeed a great idea because you can put some distance between you and the zombie hordes coming to turn you into zombified pâté. But camping is fraught with danger. If you read this guide, you might just make it through.

Getting Out of There

zombie cartoon characterOkay, so old Mr. Jefferson is no longer human and you’ve decided now might be a good time to head for the forest. You need some good transportation. Don’t opt for the biggest vehicle you can find. These guzzle up gas like a fat kid at Wendy’s. You won’t easily find more gas if you run out because most of the gas stations will be heavily defended or will have already been plundered. A solid, medium-sized car is best.

Take only what you need to camp and survive. In the event you can’t find a car, steal one. It doesn’t matter. The law no longer exists.

The Right Tent

survival tent

Think about your choice of tent well in advance. You need a lightweight home you can roll up and sling across your shoulders. At some point, you may well have to travel on foot. Make sure your tent has a secure lock at the front to protect you from any zombies that may try to sneak up on you in the night. That same tent could become your coffin. Avoid simple vinyl tents. They don’t do much to protect you from the elements. Ideally, you want a tent that’s as low to the ground as possible. Old-fashioned tents with big pyramid peaks are liable to being blown apart in heavy wind.

Water Needs

Water is crucial to your survival. You can only live for three days without a drink of water. In this case, it’s best to purchase a self-filtering water bottle, such as the ones they use at NASA. They automatically filter out all the bad bacteria without any third-party tools.

Don’t drink directly from rivers. Biological zombie outbreaks are more likely than you think. Drinking this water will turn you into a zombie without even encountering one in the flesh.

What about Food?

Take non-perishable food items. Smart survivalists already have bunkers filled with such foodstuffs years in advance of any outbreak. These should be light and shouldn’t take much preparation. Forget about your five fruit and veg a day. You have more important things to worry about. If you run out of this, you may have to consider hunting. Set up small traps for animals like rabbits to fall into. Remember, animals in the woods are the last creatures to be impacted by zombie outbreaks.

In the later stages of the apocalypse, you’ll have to chance working with other groups of humans. Trading items you come across could get you the resources you need to make it through the final months. But there’s no rush. The average human can survive for three whole weeks without a meal.

Generators

Your generator is your lifeline. It’s what will give you power without the need to connect to the main power grid, which will likely be down. Try to use it as little as possible to conserve fuel. Think about what you really need it for. A good use of a generator is not to provide a light so you can read Justin Bieber’s 21-year-old memoirs before you go to sleep with a cup of hot chocolate.

Prior Preparations

We’ve given you the basics on what to take with you and how to fulfil your basic survival needs. What we can’t teach you is how to deal with the mental side of coping with life on the road. The only way to know what this is like is to do it yourself. Take off for a weekend and camp in the woods. Learn to survive on your own. When the zombie apocalypse comes, you’ll be better placed than most to lead your group through humanity’s darkest days.

Get a bug out bag.

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